Friday, September 20, 2013


For many months I have taken a blogging break. It seems one day you wake up and life with Diabetes JUST IS, and honestly, for quite awhile now the last thing I have wanted to think about or talk about..... or even ACKNOWLEDGE, was Diabetes.


And just when I thought hoped there was nothing left to say, Maddison turned 13.

Enough said, right?

It was as if overnight my buddy changed into another person. Everything I say is wrong, everything I do is wrong. Yep....this girl wants nothing but to fly the coop and get the hell away from her Mom. So, this Mom right here has WAY TOO MUCH time to do nothing but reflect on finding something for ME, and try to stay sane while parenting two teenage GIRLS that need me close, but not TOO close. Quite comical when you think about it actually!

This Summer was the first that I actually worked FT without a modified shorter schedule to stay home PT and "watch over" Diabetes. YEP. The age of (12 then and now 13) also means total self sufficiency of Diabetes care in the daytime hours. And you know what? That totally sucks because I LIVED for spending extra time in the Summer with my kids!!!! Bummer for me! Nowadays I also just drop Maddison off on her volunteer days, and just drop her off when she has her horse riding lessons! No more needing/wanting Mom there either!!

Bittersweet, for sure.

I miss my little kids!!

Im struggling with this growing up stuff. For real!! My Hannah turned 16 last November, and 17 is approaching too damn fast. Ive spent several months now just stuck in the blues. So many reasons, but the largest part of being so down for so long is that after spending 8 years as a Volleyball Mom (attending practices twice a week and tournaments every weekend) Hannah decided she no longer wanted to play competitive Volleyball. Even as a Varsity player. Can you say parental devastation? I've seriously been heart broken ever since. I never wanted that chapter in our lives to end. This is one reason I now have too much free time!!

Then of course there is the fact that Maddison's interests are changing with age, which means I now have EVEN MORE free time!! I have spent many, many years volunteering along side Maddison at various animal rescues (she still does occasionally) but nowadays her passion is focusing on horses, which means most days I simply drop her off for riding lessons and be on my way. Her lessons will be starting again soon since Summer is coming to an end, which FINALLY kick starts my motivation to get my shit together and pursue my own volunteering, projects, education and such!

So here I am with all this time to find ME, and Im back on my blog. What the heck? Well, VENTING IT ALL OUT **IS** ME!! Its not really bitching or complaining ya know. Its VENTING. Lets make sure you hear that right! Venting means I blurt it all out right here on my blog, and then move the heck on!! Since Maddison started school 6 weeks ago AND turned 13 in August we have had ALOT of Diabetes stress. A new MIDDLE SCHOOL schedule, crazy hormone resistance, new expectations/responsibilities in 7th grade (such as independently managing Diabetes without the school nurse involved!!)new teachers to educate, and so far the biggest struggle by TEENAGE peers with lots of opinions and questions about Diabetes. Yes, I said opinions.

Opinions. Comments. Remarks. Damn, they weren't kidding when they said the teen years with Diabetes are tough. Thats a vent
blog post for another day!

1 comment:

Tracy said...

Can I just say that I am SO thankful some of you are going through the teen years before us! Then when we get there, I will have friends who have been there and survived! Hugs to you as your girls grow up! I hate that they do that!